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DEAR BRANDON

{inscription from my bro}

here's just a few of my faves among many . . .

"I’m going to be an artist."
"Do you have any advice for other artists?"
"Don’t press down too hard with your crayons."

"I’m glad I had a daughter. Ever since my grandmother died, I’ve needed the female energy in my life. It’s good energy. I mean, when things go wrong, another man can tell you that everything is going to be OK. But not like a woman can."

"I have a neck injury so I had to tone it down this year."

"What’s your sister’s best quality?"
"What does ‘quality’ mean?"
"What’s the best part of her personality?"
"She doesn’t really have a personality yet."


"What’s your favorite thing about her?"
"She still gets giddy when she sees a firefly."

"Do you know what you want to be when you grow up?"
"A person."
"The women love my glasses."

"Our moms set us up."

"Before them, I didn’t realize that I could value someone more than myself."
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"A mom."
"What’s going to be the hardest part about being a mom?"
"Bath time."

"I’m going home to see my mother."
“Oh, is it her birthday?”
“Nope. I just love my mother, and she loves flowers.”


"We met when she came into a thrift store where I worked. We both loved clothes and dancing. She’s my best friend, my roommate, and my wife. I’m not even joking, we’ve been legally married for 14 years."

"I don’t know what to tell you, man."

"If you could give one piece of advice to other kids, what would it be?"
"God is real and he can do miracles."
"I want to be a teacher."
"What’s the best part about being a teacher?"
"Teaching."

"One of my plays is getting produced!"
“What’s it about?”
“So there’s this guy, and he really loves this one girl— she’s the girl of his dreams. But she’s going off to college. So he applies to every nearby college, just so he can be close to her. But the only college that accepts him is a clown college. But here’s the thing— he’s terrified of clowns.”

"I had really hippie, alternative parents. They pulled me out of middle school because they didn’t think it was fulfilling me creatively, and we drove across country in an RV."
"Wait, were you home schooled? You can’t just not go to school, can you?"
"Actually, you kinda can."

"I told her that if she wanted to start over, to meet where we first kissed. She was supposed to be here 15 minutes ago."

"What are their superpowers?"
"This one can talk any enemy to death. And this one can knock her sister over."

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
“Fireman.”
“Why do you want to be a fireman?”
“I said Ironman!”

"They were filming that show ‘Gossip Girl’ across from my apartment. I marched right up to the crew and said: ‘Do you have any idea what you’re doing to the youth of America?’"
"Is the show really bad?"
"Oh, I’ve never seen it. But gossip is horrible. It ruins lives."


I decided to drop a heavy question on him, and asked: “What’s the secret to living a good life?”
He immediately answered: “Don’t think bad thoughts.”


perhaps what i love best about brandon is that he includes these furry babies as humans of new york, too.




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